Jungle of dreams: Montenegro.

                                    

Imagine: colours so vivid they seem to eat your eyes. Mountains arch their broad backs, like white striped tabby cats surrounding you on every side. A jumble of Greek, Roman Catholic and Venetian styled architecture. It is like a bricked medley flooding down the ancient streets. So steep it seems as if everything is about to fall into the glass clarity of the bay of Kotor.  

We spent our first day wondering in and out of the labyrinthine brick work of Herceg Novi. A tiny beach skidded out into the lapping waves, beneath the tiered streets that looked as though they were craved out of the cliff side.  

            Recently independent from Serbia, Montenegro is like a bubbly excited teenager who has been given its first chance at freedom. Giddy it welcomes you in. As if saying ‘see my beauty and love me’. It is desperate for acceptance in its new adult status. Hotels pop up like mushrooms overnight in the fertile atmosphere-the country seems to be impregnated with the desire to satisfy tourists.

            During the day, culture allures you to drink it in, with boat trips to the islands famously immortalised by Daniel Craig’s in his first Bond movie, Casino Royale, just off the coast of Perast.

We visited the man made island of Gospa od Skrpjela in Boka bay. A wedding ceremony was just ending on the church island, which was no bigger than a village parish. The bride’s veil was nearly swept away by the strong the bay winds. Flowers were lain around in glorious groups of gold, red, white and green, as if they were offerings to an ancient sea god. Their scents reeled together in a tapestry around the intricate building. From this island you could see another about two minutes boat ride away, smaller. Trees cloistered the building, which I later found to be called St. Djordje.  That unlike Gospa od Skrpjela, it is a natural island, not man made. Hidden away there is said to be a 12^th century Benedictine Monastery.

            Vincent Van Gogh said, ‘I often think that the night is more alive and more richly coloured than the day.’ He should have travelled to Montenegro and he would have seen this statement dance in front of his eyes. Lights softly wink at you from across the bay, a night game of water polo (with a fluorescent ball) can often be found (since 2008 Montenegro has been the reigning European champions in the men’s water polo).  

Cafés and restaurants stage their own music that runs away into the evening air, fried fish with spices I can not distinguish, hot dough and tomatoes, crêpes, so many tangled flavours. An ice cream vendor is often easily found with giant tubs of flavours cramped into an open top freezer.

Smiles would erupt if you showed any favour to a particular vendor by revisiting; you would be welcomed like an old friend with blossoming hand gestures and deep throaty laughter. It seems more like a travelling circus than a normal city, with the streets alive with entertainment and food. You feel as if you are flooded with a magnum of possibilities. This country offers up new, exciting and undiscovered dreams; and if you look closer and deeper inside its kaleidoscopic jungle of culture, colour and people, you will find a new adventure.

 Famous faces

·   Holly Valance (well known for her role as Flick in Neighbours and hit sing of Kiss Kiss.) Her father was a Montenegrin; Holly’s birth name was Holly Rachel Vukadinovic.

·   Marijia Vujovic, (model for Dolce and Gabbana fragrance campaign and other major fashion houses) is a Montenegrin. She happens to also be the niece of the countries president, Filip Vujanovic.

·   The country has always entertained the famous, most especially on the island of Sveti Stefan. An island connected to the main land by a spit. It used to be a fishing village, now it is a massive hotel. It has visitors like: Sofia Loren, Carlo Bruni, Doris Day, Kirk Douglas, Sylvester Stallone and Jeremy Irons.

Where's my money!

‘What, still no money?’ For three months I had completed the impossible. I had sustained myself on only £500 pounds. Now the annoying cash machine font told me I had nothing left. I was surviving off compassionate sachets of cup a soup from my parents, plus a bag of couscous. My housemate’s got so concerned, ‘Please, go buy some real food,’ they said and shoved a £20 into my hand.

            I was only one in a group of many hundreds that last September, were all desperately checking their bank balance.

In October, I tried rubbed my bank card as if a genie in a NatWest uniform would appear and drown me in cash (I do not advise this, as all I got was strange looks from passers by).  

As things were getting slowly worse and as my cupboards only held things like HP sauce, I thought I needed to have a serious chat with Student finance. This is basically how it went.

Finance: How can I help you?

Student: Could you tell me how much longer I’m going to have to wait for my loan?

Finance: Did you check the website?

Student: Yes, it says you’re still processing my claim.

Finance: Keep checking the website. Or call back in three weeks if nothing has changed.

Student: Look I’m sorry, I’m getting rather desperate. I don’t have any money.

Finance: I’ll have a quick look at your claim…oh…can I put you on hold?

  It turns out that at some point they had read my age incorrectly. So they’d been attempting to base my finances on the income of my parent’s.  An obvious slip that should have been rectified much earlier, I thought.

 Why was my age an issue? A friendly University adviser informed me that whilst I was under twenty-five years, I had to be tested by the income of my parents (If I had not lived three years independently from them). They call this ‘means’ testing. Yet as soon as I turned twenty-five I needed to be tested by my own income. I had befuddled poor Student Finance by applying in April, before my birthday.

 Since September 2008 the system Student Finance follows has dramatically altered. Prior to 2008, 150 local authorities dealt with all the applications for loans, and the SLC, (Student Loans Company, Student Finances support branch) paid the students and kept all the records.

Instead of this, they arrange it all on their own. Their Glasgow headquarters, in January 2010, cut 150 jobs, with a further 45 transferred to their Darlington offices, employing only 1,894 people. Do they think cutting down on staff will assist in extinguishing their persistent problems?   

            A few weeks after the ‘age’ incident I decide to call up again, as still no change.

Student: It’s getting really difficult to live now, how long will my claim take?

Finance: Your claim is being processed.

Student: I know that, I need to know how long. I have no money to even buy a bus ticket to Uni.

Finance: We are looking at your claim, I’m sorry but you are in a queue. We have a lot of claims. It should be looked at by the end of the week

Student: So I’ll get some money by Monday then maybe?

Finance: No, your claim will be looked at. Not fully processed.

Student: Any idea how long that will be?

Finance: It’s best if you check our website. We update it all the time. Call back in about three weeks if there is no change.

I would call up every week, with practically the same response. Nearly into December, the money finally arrived, £1176.12. I was sure I had received more the previous year. The trouble was I didn’t know how much I was entitled to. This information seems to be elusive and many other students I chatted to about this, had no clue and said, ‘I was just so glad to finally get some cash.’

 Are students getting short changed without their knowledge? University is supposed to be a safer way to enter the working world, not to be scammed by massive companies.

Mid-December arrived, and I was yet again in trouble. After paying: my overdraft, rent (£350 a month, plus a retainer) and bills (Electricity £80 to name one). I was left with next to nothing.

 The University had sent a letter at the beginning of term explaining, as I had such a low income they wanted to assist me with a bursary. Because of the delay in Student Finance, I’d been unable to pay my tuition fees, and so they had not been able to ‘process my claim’, therefore no bursary.  

Extending my overdraft was finally my only option. I worked my holidays at Tesco’s, along side my University studies (doesn’t this some what defeat the object of a student loan?)

            The saga continues, in February 2011 I raised my concerns of not receiving my bursary with my University. It was then that I discovered that Student Finance had not means tested me, therefore I could not be given a bursary; as they had no clue to my current monetary state.

            Thoroughly confused to say the least, I called up Student Finance, waited the customary thirty minutes of, ‘If you have made a claim and are calling to see if it has been processed please visit our website at www…If you are inquiring about evidence that you need to provide please visit our website at …’ You get the idea.

            A human finally intervened. They were as confused as I was, that I had not been means tested. I was promised that they would forward it and have it sorted out. Brilliant, I though. A winking light at the end of this blasted tunnel. Or was it?

            A couple of days later I find an email, it outlined that they still needed evidence from my Father about his income. This was slightly confusing, as I was being means tested by my income now. So I did what all women in distress do. Cry, and then call their Father.

            It turns out, after a stern chat between Student Finance and my Father, that they still needed additional evidence for last years claim before finalising this years. Strange, that this was the first time that they had decided to bring this up.

            Talking to other students about money, I found more than half of them had suffered from troubles like this. One told me, ‘I got worried when I found too much money in my bank account…I worked it out that they had over paid me £980!’ She went on to explain that it had taken some time before they would except that they had made a mistake. She said that, ‘They said I was completely entitled to the money and to stop worrying, that it was because my Dad’s circumstances had changed… but they hadn’t, he’d just changed jobs. His income was exactly the same.’

I asked her what she did next, ‘I left it a week, worried all the way through and decided to just call them and ask if they could just double check. They rechecked and changed their minds…I was told I had to send them a cheque for the money or else they would cancel my loan for next year.’

This was just one of the many bizarre tales I heard. So many students struggle with debt every year. Is it worth their while? Will I be able to get a job after all this to pay back what was achingly and grudgingly given?

With no alternative available and student debt looking to increase, will Student Finance rise to the task, to simply get money to people on time? Or will we simply see a new climax of catastrophe’s as an organisation petulantly whimpers, ‘No we can do this and we don’t need anybody’s help!’■   

                      

           

                    

Marc Magic: Risking the ridiculous

    Marc Jacobs. As soon as you hear the name you know you’re in the presence of greatness. Just like your guy would weep openly with Jeremy Clarkson over the Bugatti Veyron (I’m told this is the fastest and greatest of all the supercars). We delight at the delectable Marc and his Louis Vuitton collection for spring/summer 2011. Imagine a room full of block colours, tassels, beads (70’s disco fever mirror ball hanging from the ceiling) and Japanese fans. Throw in some wild animals, now set off a mini explosion (hypothetically people!) This is basically what Marc has done for this collection.

What you get is astounding, a complete success. The dramatic clashing of colour and detail that went onto each outfit was, to my unaccustomed eye, bewitching. The jumpsuit, a difficult trend to master without looking like a dumpy girl in a baby grow, in this show was repeatedly dazzling.

The loose fitting fabric and the tight low glittering hip band provided a unique silhouette, widening the market for this terrifying craze.

“Taste is so subjective…”

He is also the first in the high fashion world, away from Louis Vuitton in his own line, to have created a plus size range for women.

When I found out this ‘plus’ point it made me love him more and want to ignore his infamously known diva tendencies.

I didn’t know that!

·   Marc was fired from Perry Ellis in 1993, after he designed a ‘Grunge Collection’. Those poor people, do they not know that Marc is too amazing to be denied!

·   In 1987 he received the CFDA (Council of Fashion Designers of America) award for ‘Best New Fashion Talent’.

·   In June this year, he also won the CFDA award for ‘Women’s wear Designer of the Year’.

·   Those who’ve been recently spotted wear some of Marc’s gorgeous clothes are: Lady Gaga, Nicole Richie and Jessica Alba to name but a few.

I did feel, though, that the 47 year old designer did go a little too far at one point in the collection, par exemple; the glittery panda top, there is such a thing as too much glitter, my dear. Combine glitter, with animal print and its hard to not feel as if you’re wearing a Dorian Green creation from, ‘Birds of a Feather’.

Yet he instantly redeemed himself with the fringe dresses that swayed their way colourfully into my heart and (I wish) into my wardrobe. Marc is acclaimed by fellow designers as the ultimate in fashion for his time.

He stated before the show began that, ‘Taste is so subjective and I don’t believe there is such a thing as good taste and bad taste.’ Marc dares to be different to experiment to the extreme. As I watched the show again and again, I found that my past hatred for animal print was lessening with every viewing and that an inner goddess of glitter, glam and print was screaming to get out and play.■